Posted by: Trigger | 27 November, 2007

But he’s one of the good guys.

I think it’s only appropriate, given the news I’m about to share, to take a break from my regularly scheduled self-indulgent blog posting. Life sends some awfully cruel reality checks from time to time…

This post is about my best friend’s dad being one of the good guys. My friend, we’ll call her Finn here, is an amazing woman. She’s a therapist with homeless and abused youth, in our town which unfortunately has a very visible problem with that sort of thing. Sadly. Anyway, she dedicates her life to making their lives better. The girl embodies what it is to be an admirable person.

And most of her dedication to all things altruistic comes from her amazing father, we’ll call him Mr. Finn. Mr. Finn is mellow, sweet, AMAZINGLY intelligent, and “one of the good guys.” You know the type – has selflessly sacrificed many a thing for his family, friends and loved ones, is in an altruistic profession himself, is in general the type of person we all should look up to. He came from an awful, abusive family – and he beat that background. He did better by his children than his parents did by him. He took a bad situation, and he single-handedly reversed his own fortune. He could have given up, he could have blamed his upbrining, but instead, he did something about it. He became a force for good in his own life, and then extended that to countless others as well.

You know there’s a but here.

Yesterday, I spent quite a bit of time on the phone with Finn. She’s been hard to pin down lately, text messages and phone calls have gone unanswered in a very uncharacteristic manner. It’s easy to let that happen – busy with work, she’s bummed because her boyfriend is overseas in Afghanistan, etc. She called me in the middle of the day yesterday, when she usually is working so hard she doesn’t stop for lunch, and I could tell something was up.

Mr. Finn’s had a problem with one of his vocal cords lately. It became obvious that it was in a sort of paralyzed state. Mr. Finn saw a specialist, who ordered a CT scan. That CT scan showed a large mass. The mass’ etiology (fancy medical word for cause/origin of disease or problem) is unknown at this time. An MRI has been ordered up here at the med school, where I work. The Finns are, understandably, in shock at the possible implications of this mass. Each is handling it differently.

Finn herself is numb, but okay. Kind of. As okay as you can be. It’s one of those things – he’s not my dad, but it hit me hard as well. Throughout yesterday and today, I just keep thinking about it, and shaking my head. I know life’s not fair, but – He’s one of the good guys.



  1. Sometimes it seems like there are so few good guys left in this world. I’ll keep the Finns in my prayers.

  2. […] Finn (remember Finn?) and her family spent a very chaotic few months dealing with his diagnosis. It was a cancer of […]

  3. […] her bf/fiance move to Germany for a few years. To happen the first weekend in August. Well, with her sick dad (who is still very sick, and will probably not get better), it turns out that with six weeks left […]

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